like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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