clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
