Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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