i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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