I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
