We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
