Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ladies don't puke and tell
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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