Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
