wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
