TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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