there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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