Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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