i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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