i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
