No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
