so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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