sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
