So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
