i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
