Nicole vs. Life
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
