the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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