and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
