get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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