If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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