where am i from again
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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