totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
