It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize