idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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