You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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