Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
People in love make me want to vomit
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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