My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
