dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i will never coherently bang her
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
