He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
