this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
