I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
