i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
