I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
