Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
