gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
