3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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