I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
