dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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