So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
