Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
