so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
