Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize