just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
