About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
