We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
