Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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