How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
