ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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