and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
