1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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