I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
