new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
