My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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