just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize