Nicole vs. Life
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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