I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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