Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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