Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize