grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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